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March 29, 2011

I am an impatient person. VERY impatient.

I want to be a runner NOW. I want to be at goal weight NOW. I want to qualify for Boston NOW.

I want things that may never happen. I try to talk myself out of them, but I can’t. And the list isn’t getting any shorter. I feel like I know who I am, and (most of) my major faults.

I am passionate, talkative and driven by what I want and need, not what people expect of me. I WANT to be liked, respected and maybe even admired. But I also want to live life for myself, not others. This does NOT mean being a total brat to those around me however. (Take note, co-worker) I can work towards what I want while still helping as much as possible.

This week is crazy busy. Busy to the point where me sitting down to write this post makes me feel guilty. But I need to get this out. The last two days I have had things asked of me that I do not feel are part of my job. However, I do not throw those things back in that person’s face like I would like to. I simply smile, nod and thrive on the challenge of fitting everything in. Then I berate myself for not being a stronger person and standing up for myself by saying no. I guess it all comes down to how much I dislike confrontation, and how much I want those around me to be happy.

Which comes back to me living life for me. Am I technically doing that if I like pleasing others? I think so. It’s just who I am. I am still being true to that, even if that means helping others be happy whenever possible. I feel like I have a pretty good outlook on life. So why take everything as an insult or a snub? (Again, co-worker) If someone makes an unusual request of you and it’s within your physical capacity to accomplish, suck it up and get it done. Even if the only reward you get out of it is a smile. AND if you ask the same of a co-worker (ahem, ME) TELL THEM THANK YOU. (You ungrateful grumpy lump of jerk)

Phew, ok, I feel better. Yes, I am impatient. Yes, I talk (a lot). Yes, I am lazy when it comes to chores. (I HATE cleaning, but I love having things already be clean.) Sometimes I “forget” to brush my teeth. (Don’t judge, everyone does) I don’t shower everyday. I happen to smell like roses, thankyouverymuch.

BUT at least I don’t take my insecurities and shortfall out on other people. Errrrr, besides you, dear reader….. SORRY!

PS – b/c of said “busy week” and some icky (technical term) rain, I did not go for my planned run today. NO biggie, I will make it up tomorrow. (I just keep telling myself that when I freak out over missing a day.)

3 Comments leave one →
  1. March 29, 2011 5:12 pm

    Nice post!

    Newsflash: I forgot to brush my teeth yesterday! I’m NOT kidding. By the time I realized it…it was time for bed. lmao

    • March 30, 2011 5:44 pm

      Hehe, its awful, because I know I shouldn’t, but sometimes when I am already almost falling asleep, i remember about brushing my teeth and say screw it. I know, gross.


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